How to make a bad blog

First, a fun photo from an oceanic blow hole on the pacific coast of Mexico with my kids and some cousins just about to get soaked:


Now then, I believe completely in the premise that bloggers want to be read. Even those who write journals are writing for the future audience of themselves and, I think, the idea of others reading is present then as well.

Some may disagree, but I think anybody who takes the time to write and then publish to the interwebs hopes for readers, even if they don't want to admit it massages their egos.

So, with that in mind, there is one really easy way to make sure nobody reads your blog: don't write. Simply avoid updating your blog on a daily or almost daily basis and all the momentum you built up with previous bits of humor, insight or personality will evaporate.

The best bloggers, the ones who achieve a following of readers who care enough to check back, almost certainly update almost daily. I believe there is an unwritten but real contract between a blogger and a reader. The blogger throws his stuff out there for others to partake of and readers participate by giving it attention and perhaps even commenting back. If a writer generates enough words and enough images that are of interest, they might get regular readers. The reader has invested time and brain power and in most cases, expects to read more.

Writers who don't update, break the contract and lose readers.

Going to Mexico this month and being off the grid completely ruined my habitual thought process of thinking about and posting here at the shower-thoughts blog. So, I decided that isn't acceptable and I am either going to maintain good posting habits or I am going to not blog any longer. It is either worth my time and energy or it isn't. I hope to find out from myself that it is.

Like any writer (even if they don't admit it) I produce content for a perceived audience made up of friends and perhaps even a stranger or two. If nobody read or nobody cared there wouldn't be a reason to write. There is some evidence that people care but if I can't maintain a steady posting schedule, if I can't demonstrate to myself that I care, the blog must die.

Off the grid

I haven't touched the internet for days and days, which is odd and I have felt very disconnected from friends and news and the world. I was in Mexico on a family vacation and we enjoyed the beach and I was completely off the grid.

During vacations and preparation for vacation, things like blogs get ignored, which is sad because there was much to write about. Turns out everybody is scared to vacation in Mexico and we had the place (or at least part of the place) to ourselves. Great time. I will blog more at length but here is some photographic evidence.

Fun with my son

Today I went with an elementary school class to a fire station on a walking field trip.

The first thing I discovered is that I am still socially awkward. One of the other parents talked to me and I found suddenly that I had no idea what to say and the two of us stood there in the hall outside the classroom waiting for about two minutes with nothing but uncomfortable silence. Grrrrrrrr.

This was all okay when the students showed up and we walked, I am guessing, about half of a mile to the closest fire station. The students were taken into a room and the nice firefighter went over some safety tips and demonstrated that he really doesn't know how to talk to kids in first grade.

Next he took us all outside next to the big red truck and did a much better job entertaining us all which is what we hope for in a field trip. We could have stayed in school to be bored after all. We didn't have enough time to ask any questions because suddenly his crew was invited out on a call which gave us all a chance to hear the sirens which was cool. But, the questions I wanted to ask:

* Why do all firemen have moustaches?

* Where are the poles and can I try one?

* Where is the dalmatian and does he bite?

* Are the girl firemen called firewomen or firepeople?

* Do the firewomen also have moustaches?

But really, the great part came next. I was quite surprised how much Dresden wanted me to come along on the trip. I mostly assumed he would be embarrassed by me but he was really glad to have me there. On the way home (hang on to your hats) he held my hand the whole way back to school. The - whole - way. Occasionally the grip was broken by circumstances or his friend Collin, and every time he would take my hand again.

I already loved my son completely but I loved so much that he wanted that kind of contact from me and wasn't ashamed. I got a little misty typing that sentence.

Then at his baseball game, he hit the holy crap out of the ball at least once, almost clocking the coach. Cool!

Mexico: I fear you not (but I will be careful)

In the not too distant future, I will be at the boarder of Mexico with my passport and will get another stamp in my little blue book. I haven't been there since July of 2000 when I was in Cancun on a shared Honeymoon with Shannon.

I recommend Cancun as a divine vacation spot. My time there was one of the most relaxing weeks of my life and was also a lot of fun. I wish I could afford to load up my parents, family and friends and throw a week-long relaxation party in one of the all-inclusive hotels there. Ha! Anyway, soon I shall return to the U.S.'s neighbor to the south but on the other side of the country and I will be at a beach house with several other couples and I am really looking forward to it.

This has been planned for perhaps as long as a year.

In that year, Mexico has scared the world.

Mexico to world: "BOO!"

World to Mexico: "AGGGGGGGG!"

There are scares on two fronts at least. The first is that people think Americans are being killed left and right in Mexico when they hear about the hundreds that are dying in a drug war. The truth is, there have been only a few Americans killed but recently four San Diego residents. There are signs that link these four to drugs and they apparently frequented Tijuana to party, as they did the night they were found dead, but nothing has been settled. The State Department issued a warning around spring break to college students because they tend to drink, use drugs and hang out in dangerous places and the warning wasn't to avoid Mexico but to avoid sketchy situations. I can say for sure that my kids wouldn't have been going.

Headlines look really scary but the truth is if you aren't in Mexico looking for or using drugs and you aren't visiting prostitutes, your danger is relatively tiny, comparable say . . . to visiting Detroit!

Still when you read a story like this it certainly is a little chilling. I am not worried about drug lords attacking tourists because if they do kill and scare American's they are literally, killing their cash cow.

I wouldn't wander around Tijuana after dark to be sure, but I will cross the boarder from San Diego and head down the coast for vacation and I feel very secure doing it. I confess that having a gun along wouldn't be the worst thing I can think of but hey, crossing the boarder with a weapon and then heading to a Mexican jailhouse would increase the real danger exponentially. I also wouldn't take a job as a reporter or editor in Mexico as the drug lords or other criminals seem happy to kill journalists and the authorities don't seem to care much. But again, they aren't killing for the sake of killing, they are getting and scaring those who work for Mexican newspapers. In fact, Mexicans working as reporters are heroic to be sure.

The second scare is the dreaded swine flu that grabbed world headlines and sent thousands or millions heading for their bunkers to hole up while the world ended. As I don't plan to stop in any hospitals and lick people, I am feeling okay about this one as well.

My biggest fear is returning to the U.S. and getting grief from police who stop vehicles with the expectation of getting a bribe. This is troubling to me on so many levels, but I will deal with that when and if it happens.

Anyway, imaginary readers, would you travel to Mexico? Am I ignoring obvious signs of real danger? Is my life balanced on the edge of a knife because I am heading south?

Incidentally, here are the countries the U.S. State Department does have warnings about traveling to:

Nepal 05/22/2009
Lebanon 05/13/2009
Yemen 04/24/2009
Georgia 04/09/2009
Sudan 04/08/2009
Central African Republic 04/01/2009
Colombia 03/25/2009
Madagascar 03/17/2009
Saudi Arabia 03/04/2009
Algeria 03/04/2009
Pakistan 02/25/2009
Eritrea 02/18/2009
Syria 02/12/2009
Congo, Democratic Republic of the 02/05/2009
Haiti 01/28/2009
Philippines 01/27/2009
Israel, the West Bank and Gaza 01/15/2009
Burundi 01/08/2009
Sri Lanka 12/22/2008
Cote d'Ivoire 12/15/2008
Nigeria 12/02/2008
Somalia 11/15/2008
Chad 11/14/2008
Kenya 11/14/2008
Iran 09/15/2008
Afghanistan 09/10/2008
Uzbekistan 07/03/2008
Iraq 06/13/2008

Those places are a whole different level of dangerous.