Who is that fat guy sitting with my family?

Years ago, I was in shape. I was pretty constantly active. I played basketball a lot and softball and when I had a chance, volleyball and football and anything team oriented with a ball. Oh and I ran a marathon once to see if I could. Go ahead and click on the photo (it gets much bigger) and figure out which one of these young men was healthy me.

Today I had pictures taken with my in-laws' extended family. In fact I took the pictures and used my killer Nikon D1H timer feature to get in some shots as well. It was a little stressful, a little fun and they turned out okay or maybe even better. There are a bunch of remarkably cute kids in the family.

Each smaller family unit also had pictures taken including mine and when I browsed the photos I was shocked to find a fat guy was sitting with my family where I thought I had been sitting!

See, in my mind's eye, I am not what I saw in the photos although I realize I am a little round. My face, that I used to worry was too long and narrow, looks like dough with holes punched in for some eyes. Excuse me while I wallow in vanity, but I looked (look) terrible!

Worse, I am modeling bad eating habits for my children and to top it all off, I am not healthy. So this will become one of the many things I will blog about in this topical buffet that I already call my blog. I need this space to be accountable to and I need reminders in my face often that remind me that I know full well that have a health problem and a discipline problem and really, an eating problem. Coca-Cola is my enemy. I should treat my own body with care, not with disdain and my mouth and taste buds should not be making decisions for my heart, lungs and other organs and muscles.

Incidentally, I know there are people bigger than I am and some might even take offense at my self evaluation but for the record, I don't think they look terrible and their weight doesn't bother me - mine does. Also, my wife has done a great job recently at being consistent with exercise and diet and has shed some pounds so I further need to support her efforts. My friend Jody has shed a lot of weight this year only to put some of it back on so somehow that matters to me and I want to be healthy and I want him to be more healthy and happy with himself.

Tomorrow is a great day to shoot some hoops, run some ladders in a gym and actually burn more calories than I eat. It has to start now.

Christmas Eve

Some Christmas Eve when I was in Middle School (Butler Middle School for some old classmates who might read here occasionally - GO BRUINS!) the holiday and Holy Day had a really interesting effect on me. It caused me to deeply contemplate life and myself and helped me appreciate quiet and stillness.

I realize that isn't a clear explanation, but it remains true. I find myself on most or maybe every Christmas Eve letting my mind settle and be silent. Perhaps part of this process is that all-night taco joints close, the behemoth Wal-Mart closes and nobody needs to wake up, rush around the house and go to work. Anyway, all this stillness is unique and carries its own feeling which leads me to contemplate.

Today was my father's 79th birthday and I am sorry to report he is losing most of his personal clarity. He still knew the 36 members of our family that gathered in the cultural hall (fancy name for the gymnasium that Mormons put in virtually every church) but he isn't at ease and he isn't always clear about what is happening.

To me he seems to be literally in a fog; shapes are indistinct and vague and he must concentrate hard to make sense of his environment. He is an old man and when I pat him on the shoulder and talk to him I can feel his bones protruding as his muscle and skin lose their vigor. This is sad of course but I don't write in hopes of sympathy, it just is the reality of medical science that keeps us alive for many years now but cannot preserve our youth. A retired co-worked Jill used to say, "Getting old isn't for wimps," and "It is hell getting old." Jill was being funny but she was also speaking truth.

I doubt that by DeVon's (my father) 80th birthday there will be much left of him mentally. I feel like his capacity for speech will be greatly diminished and his movement will be slowed. It is possible he will be completely stilled by then and while I would mourn his absence, I already mourn his loss.

What I meant to write about tonight is my families tradition of getting together on Christmas Eve and celebrating DeVon's Day by eating Mexican food (which I am sure a native Mexican wouldn't recognize at all). This year I convinced folks to meet at the above mentioned LDS chapel to make it easier for everybody. My oldest sister Kenda ended up taking on a crazy amount of work, driving (for example) for miles and hours to get "low carb" tortillas because I happened to mention my family likes them.

We ended up just about killing her with all the work she did and the unexpected and unfamiliar back agony she was in. She has an inability to do things the easy way because her standards are always excellent. I think I over-teased her about the amount of extra food we had, and I do deeply appreciate all her days of work, but I can't see that we can continue things like that. With a family as large as mine (four older sisters with grown children who have had babies many now) there is no great solution for how to continue this tradition. I wonder if the question of how to celebrate my father's birthday next year will become moot.

The other topic on my mind is that I believe in the literal reality of Christ as a savior. Intellectually I find my belief interesting or maybe even odd but it is as real as well. Sometimes its easy to accidentally give lip service, even in our own minds, to what that means but when I am still and contemplative, I remember that I genuinely believe it and all its powerful ramifications.

Ten other topics are swirling in my mind tonight. I wonder if I have found a better stride as a blogger.

3D vs 3D in Avatar

I have seen "Avatar" twice now. Once on Thursday at midnight with my pal Jody - who is a fine man, not a fine female.

I left work a tad early so I could make the show that night and I picked a theater near Jody's house and I was a couple of minutes late for the film. We rushed in a bit scattered, grabbed glasses and sat down to watch the three-hour epic unfold.

I had fun at the cinema. But I think my mind was too focused on the technical aspects of the film and I was watching it through critical lenses. (Not to be confused with me being critical of the lenses - that is coming up. I just mean my brain's own critical lenses.)

The second time I saw it at Jordan Commons, which had completely different 3D glasses, I was startled to discover the viewing experience was significantly better. The first pair of glasses wrapped around my head somewhat with curved lenses while the second pair had big flat lenses held out in front of my eyeballs.

The second viewing was vastly superior and I managed to turn off my critical mind more and enjoy the film. I already liked it and I already marveled at it but the second experience was greater!

I am tempted to write about some of the technical marvels in the film but there are others better qualified to do so ((here is one from last year)) and my blog is already topically scattered before I turn in a film special-effects commentary, but suffice it to say James Cameron and my friends at Weta Digital and ILM pushed the edges of what was possible and managed to be spectacular while they did it. Here is a "60 Minutes," segment about it, with some small factual errors from the narrator but is a great video for the average viewer to get what is going on.

Oh and the film is likely the first of a trilogy.

Sensitive viewers will want to know there is some language and a intimate scene between two 12-foot-tall blue people and it is violent but bloodless.

More seasonal laughs

I am not a giant fan of either of these fellows but I am a big fan of people making funny things on YouTube, the second largest search engine in the world.

I was going to post an "Avatar" review but I don't think I will find the time. I enjoyed the film though and those special effects Oscars are definitely spoken for.

A good seasonal laugh

For one the very few times in my whole life, I can't sleep. I blame tile, J.R.R. Tolkien, Guillermo del Toro and the Deseret News.

But, since I am awake, I have a little chuckle to share: A response from a Jewish drummer to Senator Orrin Hatch's song "8 Days Of Hanukkah". You are required to watch a lame commercial but temporarily turn the sound down and ride out the banality - it is worth it.

Enjoy! And read on for some good news.



I was delighted to find that "Precious: Based on the novel Push by Saphire," received two Golden Globe nominations. I called it a shoe-in and I was right (and I promise I didn't check the internet or ask anybody, it really was this obvious) and for Best Performance by and actress in a supporting role Mo'Nique was indeed nominated. Her Academy Award nomination should be in the bag at this point. But, the film was also nominated for Best Motion Picture - Drama and Gabourey Sidibe was one of five getting the nod for best actress in a drama. Horray!

Director Lee Daniels is among those being mentioned as a snub for not getting a director nomination. All this raises the film's profile to Joe Public considerably. I don't feel bad pointing out that I knew something when I said "If some studio wants a "Best Picture" nomination for 2010's Academy Awards ceremony, they will buy it up and promote it," in this blog post back in January.

Anyway, it is great to see an independent film that is all but impossible to market in television commercials getting awards love.

Customer service

It is currently late at night and bitterly cold again in Salt Lake City. It is so late in fact that I am not going to head to the store and buy a Nestle Crunch Bar. I just don't feel like going out right now but tomorrow, when I get a minute, buying a Nestle Crunch Bar will be a top priority.

Why?

Because somebody in the company is smart and funny and unconventional. My friend Joseph (also known with affection as "Foe") suggested I call the Crunch Hotline at 1-800-295-0051 and simply wait after it gives me the option of listening to the menu in Spanish or English. I did and now I will be buying a bar.

I am reading the book "What Would Google Do?" by Jeff Jarvis and it too is smart and funny and one of the concepts it teaches is that having customers act as advertisers really works. Nestle could have spent money with an advertising firm to make a new slogan and bought time on television or space in newspapers but instead, they managed to get Joseph to spread the word for them and here I am doing the same thing.

Go ahead, I dare you to call 1-800-295-0051 and wait a few seconds after hearing the option for Spanish or English. You might be buying a Crunch bar yourself as a reward. I would love your comments here on the blog but don't spoil it for those who haven't called!

Precious indeed

About ten months ago I saw a film at the Sundance Film Festival that was, to me, powerful and amazing. I blogged about it on Jan. 29 of this year and on Monday night I saw the film again. It has now been titled, "Precious: Based on the novel Push by Saphire".

The first time I saw it with 1,200 people quite enthused to see the winner of the Audience Award at Sundance. The film received tremendous applause and even tears and cheers and some of those involved in making it talked to the audience after the screening and were moved to tears by the response a film about a black girl in Harlem received from mostly rich, mostly white people in Park City.

Monday I saw it with my wife and two dozen people (at most) in Salt Lake City in its last week of release. By Thursday it will leave the only theater in Utah that is showing it and probably be gone forever. It might make a return when it gets an Oscar nomination for "Best Supporting Actress" (absolute shoe in) and perhaps for "Best Picture". But reportedly it hasn't done well locally and I wonder if more people saw it in one night in Park City than have seen it in its entire run in SLC.

Oddly, Utahns turn out for Sundance in great numbers but have given this Sundance film a pass in its regular run. According to BoxOfficeMojo.com it made $36 million and played in as many at 664 theaters, so those numbers are great. It turned a healthy profit.

This post isn't about the film's finances however but about the film's power.

It is terrible to watch because the protagonist, the titular Precious, has a horrible life. It deals with rape, incest, physical abuse, mental abuse and the difficulties that are living in the inner-city. It hurts to watch.

I know a lot of LDS people (Mormons) who will not view R-rated films. This film is definitely R-rated but it seems more wrong to me for my fellow man - including my fellow Mormons - not to see with powerful realism, the circumstances that some people live in. It seems wrong to remain blissfully ignorant of how hard life is for others.

This very day I received an e-mail telling the morality tale of the grasshopper and the ant and then bemoaning the fact that now the grasshopper is lazy and takes from the ant and those that work hard have every advantage taken away.

I challenge anybody who has that notion, to go see "Precious". One character in the film is exactly that grasshopper but others in the film grow up with disadvantages beyond any hope of control and with a ridiculously remote chance of overcoming obstacles. I know first hand, face-to-face, that this movie paints a realistic portrait not only of characters but of an overwhelmed support system.

I champion the cause of this film because as I said in January, it needs to be seen. It must be seen and not because it creates sentiment or sympathy but because it educates and informs. It pulls back the cover we, as a society, like to keep over our ugliest corners. The film will make viewers uncomfortable and it should. Nobody wants to go to the cinema and see this film because it is hard.


It is so much easier to go see "The Blind Side," and see the also-true story where one privileged family helps one big-hearted, unloved minority kid who "makes it". We all love to feel good and we love to feel good about "the haves" helping "the have nots". Good for Sandra Bullock and good for NFL players and good for feel-good stories. One cannot say enough good about the real people involved in that real story and I applaud the makers of that movie for telling an uplifting story. I am a big fan of all of those things but for the Precious Joneses of the world, there is no Sandra Bullock offering to adopt and nurture and help somebody who has it unimaginably hard.
"The Blind Side" has pulled in $130,309,730 and counting.

Precious Jones certainly fantasizes that there is somebody to save her but is told again and again by circumstances that there is not. Nobody helps her when she is being abused and raped in her own home and nobody is there to help her in math class where it is difficult to hear a word from the teacher when she genuinely wants to learn. If one watches the film carefully, there are a dozen characters in the film with really hard circumstances that we don't see with real depth while we experience everything through Precious' eyes. And there are heroes here too: nurses, teachers, social workers and those trying their hardest to make it day-to-day.

So Mormons and other sensitive souls will avoid the film because they think they are remaining more "pure" by not seeing the ugliness of the world. I think that is a great rule for life but an incorrect notion in this case. I think the film enlarges our love for our fellow-beings and increases our love for those who are different from us by circumstance and race and environment and education. I am convinced the greatest divide in society isn't by race but by financial standing and this is an unflinching look into the dank basement of society. I know it is real because I saw it myself. I knew a dozen Precious stories. It is easy to love the minority athlete who achieves excellence but it is difficult to love the obese 17-year-old girl who can barely read, was raised on welfare and who might triumph in her life by passing the GED.

I challenge readers to go to the cinema and be really uncomfortable for two hours and learn. You will hear vile language and see ugly souls and despicable actions and some of them will stick with you. They should, because those things are said and done to real people in real places and you can be sure they stick with them too. I challenge readers to ponder in this Christmas season who in society Christ would minister to and I challenge readers to watch "Precious" and not weep inside with love for those who suffer.

The perfect tree

I love the fall season. I enjoy the crisp-aired evenings, football, the colder nights, dusting off leather jackets and I especially love the wardrobe change that trees and other foliage puts on and then takes off for us.

Each weekday morning I drive my kids to school and after navigate the great loop that allows me to drop them off and then exit the school grounds to head home, I pass by the perfect tree. It is located on the corner spot of a corner house as I wind down neighborhood streets to get back home. It is only about six feet tall and slender, yet full. It had clearly been well watered all summer.

Each morning of October and part of November, after enjoying the idea of sending my kids off to learn and experience, I would marvel at this tree. Its leaves were of many colors, changing from week-to-week, including some deep purples edging to dark blue, bright racing-car reds, blazing oranges and sunny yellows. I enjoyed the tree in all its subtle shades every day for a month or longer. Most days I thought that on the following day I would bring my camera, stop the car and get out and wait for some perfect light for this perfect tree.

I never did, but now when I drive by it with its naked, frozen twigs and branches, I still can recall the brilliance of that little tree. (Next year, maybe even this spring, I will spend 30 minutes to get the right image.)

I genuinely believe in a loving God and also genuinely believe that he engineered creation as a teaching tool for his most beloved creation: his children. Fall is an obvious reminder of our own mortality. We watch our own cycle of life play out before us multiple times before our own leaves fall and before our own sap stops circulating.

My mother has cancer that will eventually, hopefully after many cherished years, take her life. She has taken the news in stride and my poor, dear father has diminished mental capacity and cannot support her as one would hope. He lives in a fog and is scared and even angry a lot of the time.

I know my parents well enough to be well aware of their flaws. Like most people, they are complex and secretly vulnerable but when looking on their lives they too have showcased some spectacular leaves of various shades and colors. My dear mother currently is beautifully noble as she copes with fear and loneliness and mortality. She knows, though it may be yet distant, that winter is coming. Her foliage brought on by adversity, less sun and some deep cold snaps, is brilliant.