Who is that fat guy sitting with my family?

Years ago, I was in shape. I was pretty constantly active. I played basketball a lot and softball and when I had a chance, volleyball and football and anything team oriented with a ball. Oh and I ran a marathon once to see if I could. Go ahead and click on the photo (it gets much bigger) and figure out which one of these young men was healthy me.

Today I had pictures taken with my in-laws' extended family. In fact I took the pictures and used my killer Nikon D1H timer feature to get in some shots as well. It was a little stressful, a little fun and they turned out okay or maybe even better. There are a bunch of remarkably cute kids in the family.

Each smaller family unit also had pictures taken including mine and when I browsed the photos I was shocked to find a fat guy was sitting with my family where I thought I had been sitting!

See, in my mind's eye, I am not what I saw in the photos although I realize I am a little round. My face, that I used to worry was too long and narrow, looks like dough with holes punched in for some eyes. Excuse me while I wallow in vanity, but I looked (look) terrible!

Worse, I am modeling bad eating habits for my children and to top it all off, I am not healthy. So this will become one of the many things I will blog about in this topical buffet that I already call my blog. I need this space to be accountable to and I need reminders in my face often that remind me that I know full well that have a health problem and a discipline problem and really, an eating problem. Coca-Cola is my enemy. I should treat my own body with care, not with disdain and my mouth and taste buds should not be making decisions for my heart, lungs and other organs and muscles.

Incidentally, I know there are people bigger than I am and some might even take offense at my self evaluation but for the record, I don't think they look terrible and their weight doesn't bother me - mine does. Also, my wife has done a great job recently at being consistent with exercise and diet and has shed some pounds so I further need to support her efforts. My friend Jody has shed a lot of weight this year only to put some of it back on so somehow that matters to me and I want to be healthy and I want him to be more healthy and happy with himself.

Tomorrow is a great day to shoot some hoops, run some ladders in a gym and actually burn more calories than I eat. It has to start now.

Christmas Eve

Some Christmas Eve when I was in Middle School (Butler Middle School for some old classmates who might read here occasionally - GO BRUINS!) the holiday and Holy Day had a really interesting effect on me. It caused me to deeply contemplate life and myself and helped me appreciate quiet and stillness.

I realize that isn't a clear explanation, but it remains true. I find myself on most or maybe every Christmas Eve letting my mind settle and be silent. Perhaps part of this process is that all-night taco joints close, the behemoth Wal-Mart closes and nobody needs to wake up, rush around the house and go to work. Anyway, all this stillness is unique and carries its own feeling which leads me to contemplate.

Today was my father's 79th birthday and I am sorry to report he is losing most of his personal clarity. He still knew the 36 members of our family that gathered in the cultural hall (fancy name for the gymnasium that Mormons put in virtually every church) but he isn't at ease and he isn't always clear about what is happening.

To me he seems to be literally in a fog; shapes are indistinct and vague and he must concentrate hard to make sense of his environment. He is an old man and when I pat him on the shoulder and talk to him I can feel his bones protruding as his muscle and skin lose their vigor. This is sad of course but I don't write in hopes of sympathy, it just is the reality of medical science that keeps us alive for many years now but cannot preserve our youth. A retired co-worked Jill used to say, "Getting old isn't for wimps," and "It is hell getting old." Jill was being funny but she was also speaking truth.

I doubt that by DeVon's (my father) 80th birthday there will be much left of him mentally. I feel like his capacity for speech will be greatly diminished and his movement will be slowed. It is possible he will be completely stilled by then and while I would mourn his absence, I already mourn his loss.

What I meant to write about tonight is my families tradition of getting together on Christmas Eve and celebrating DeVon's Day by eating Mexican food (which I am sure a native Mexican wouldn't recognize at all). This year I convinced folks to meet at the above mentioned LDS chapel to make it easier for everybody. My oldest sister Kenda ended up taking on a crazy amount of work, driving (for example) for miles and hours to get "low carb" tortillas because I happened to mention my family likes them.

We ended up just about killing her with all the work she did and the unexpected and unfamiliar back agony she was in. She has an inability to do things the easy way because her standards are always excellent. I think I over-teased her about the amount of extra food we had, and I do deeply appreciate all her days of work, but I can't see that we can continue things like that. With a family as large as mine (four older sisters with grown children who have had babies many now) there is no great solution for how to continue this tradition. I wonder if the question of how to celebrate my father's birthday next year will become moot.

The other topic on my mind is that I believe in the literal reality of Christ as a savior. Intellectually I find my belief interesting or maybe even odd but it is as real as well. Sometimes its easy to accidentally give lip service, even in our own minds, to what that means but when I am still and contemplative, I remember that I genuinely believe it and all its powerful ramifications.

Ten other topics are swirling in my mind tonight. I wonder if I have found a better stride as a blogger.

3D vs 3D in Avatar

I have seen "Avatar" twice now. Once on Thursday at midnight with my pal Jody - who is a fine man, not a fine female.

I left work a tad early so I could make the show that night and I picked a theater near Jody's house and I was a couple of minutes late for the film. We rushed in a bit scattered, grabbed glasses and sat down to watch the three-hour epic unfold.

I had fun at the cinema. But I think my mind was too focused on the technical aspects of the film and I was watching it through critical lenses. (Not to be confused with me being critical of the lenses - that is coming up. I just mean my brain's own critical lenses.)

The second time I saw it at Jordan Commons, which had completely different 3D glasses, I was startled to discover the viewing experience was significantly better. The first pair of glasses wrapped around my head somewhat with curved lenses while the second pair had big flat lenses held out in front of my eyeballs.

The second viewing was vastly superior and I managed to turn off my critical mind more and enjoy the film. I already liked it and I already marveled at it but the second experience was greater!

I am tempted to write about some of the technical marvels in the film but there are others better qualified to do so ((here is one from last year)) and my blog is already topically scattered before I turn in a film special-effects commentary, but suffice it to say James Cameron and my friends at Weta Digital and ILM pushed the edges of what was possible and managed to be spectacular while they did it. Here is a "60 Minutes," segment about it, with some small factual errors from the narrator but is a great video for the average viewer to get what is going on.

Oh and the film is likely the first of a trilogy.

Sensitive viewers will want to know there is some language and a intimate scene between two 12-foot-tall blue people and it is violent but bloodless.

More seasonal laughs

I am not a giant fan of either of these fellows but I am a big fan of people making funny things on YouTube, the second largest search engine in the world.

I was going to post an "Avatar" review but I don't think I will find the time. I enjoyed the film though and those special effects Oscars are definitely spoken for.

A good seasonal laugh

For one the very few times in my whole life, I can't sleep. I blame tile, J.R.R. Tolkien, Guillermo del Toro and the Deseret News.

But, since I am awake, I have a little chuckle to share: A response from a Jewish drummer to Senator Orrin Hatch's song "8 Days Of Hanukkah". You are required to watch a lame commercial but temporarily turn the sound down and ride out the banality - it is worth it.

Enjoy! And read on for some good news.



I was delighted to find that "Precious: Based on the novel Push by Saphire," received two Golden Globe nominations. I called it a shoe-in and I was right (and I promise I didn't check the internet or ask anybody, it really was this obvious) and for Best Performance by and actress in a supporting role Mo'Nique was indeed nominated. Her Academy Award nomination should be in the bag at this point. But, the film was also nominated for Best Motion Picture - Drama and Gabourey Sidibe was one of five getting the nod for best actress in a drama. Horray!

Director Lee Daniels is among those being mentioned as a snub for not getting a director nomination. All this raises the film's profile to Joe Public considerably. I don't feel bad pointing out that I knew something when I said "If some studio wants a "Best Picture" nomination for 2010's Academy Awards ceremony, they will buy it up and promote it," in this blog post back in January.

Anyway, it is great to see an independent film that is all but impossible to market in television commercials getting awards love.