Eyes and brains are cool

Here is a well-known optical illusion. Nothing is moving but your eye will not believe you.

The happiest place on earth? Seriously?

I am in California, as I am a few times each year to visit relatives, marvel that there isn't snow on the ground, wish I had Dodgers season tickets and have fun.

In a few hours I will load the wife, our almost-seven-year-old, and the still-likes=to-cuddle four-year-old into a "FREE HOTEL SHUTTLE TO DISNEYLAND!" and visit the self-proclaimed "Happiest place on earth". Just Google that term if you don't believe me.

I have been thinking about that claim a lot. First, let me anger all the parents reading and declare that we are being suckered by a giant organization that doesn't exist to make the world a better place but, in fact, wants to take our money and pay the stockholders.

They do that by delivering family-friendly entertainment but they also do it by changing copyright laws because of their powerful lobby in congress, squashing creativity and they teach children ideas and principals that aren't as magnificent as they seem at first blush.

That sounds a tad over-negative and I don't mean that the Disney Corporation is evil . . . Well actually they are a little evil but they aren't trying to cause harm and they are probably less evil than some. They aren't giving us bad drinking water or making us wait six months for life-saving surgery.

Anyway, my kids will be having a grand time at the "Happiest place on earth," and I like it when my kids have a grand time and yes, it is all pretty harmless. But I refuse, absolutely, to accept that it is authentically a place that is so happy that it wears the undisputed crown. It has been carefully designed to drain my wallet and I know going in that it is going to do a fair job of that tomorrow.

That doesn't make me particularly happy actually, but all kidding aside, we will all have a good time. I would rather be at Six Flags, which also is a place where you might as well just throw dollars off the roller coaster as it loops around, but I don't mind spending money to create memories and together experiences.

According to the internet other contenders for the "happiest place on earth" are:

* Oktoberfest
* Some people called the "King Family"
* Hooters in Manilla (and that reminds me that I have a great Hooters story I must share here someday)
* the back of an establishment in Vegas
* Vassar
* Denmark
* A pit with foam bricks
* Utah

Stay with me here but numbers show that people are reading my blog so I will share a little secret. Ready? Shhhhhhh. People who write blogs want other people to read them. Some deny it, some will even argue, but its true. So I feel very grateful that anybody anywhere reads the words I type. The numbers also show, clearly, that people don't leave comments, but back to Disneyland.

What I want to know from all you non-commenting readers is where is the genuine happiest place on earth? I have been wracking my brain all the live-long day (approximately the same amount of time some people work on the railroad, or so I am told) and I just can't decide. I know the easy answer, and a genuine one, is that the happy place is at home with your family. But just like in Sunday School when you can always raise your hand and say, "Read the scriptures and keep the commandments," that is a bit of easy-way-out. It isn't wrong, but it isn't enough.

Stretch your brains and stretch your fingers and please, please tell me (outside of the obvious answer) where is the happiest place on earth? In the meantime, please enjoy some photos of happy places.

My wife would like to kill me

That isn't just a salacious headline, its completely true. It isn't true all of the time every day but there are instances when it is. I have my moments so I don't blame her all that much but I do want to live so I try to temper my most annoying traits - not easy.

One problem is that I own a lot of books. Moving the Curtis Clan is hellish, often commented on those lending their backs to the cause, because there are boxes and boxes of books. I like books. I love books. I read them and hold them and smell them and cherish them. I like to think they like me too; books might be a little happier on my shelves with other books to keep them company. But, even more than books, I like my wife and at some point its probably me or the books that will need to leave so I try not to bring any extra home because one of us, me or the book, might not make it through the door.


They are a diverse lot, my books. They would make for interesting dinner-party companions if they sat around and talked. Some would be experts on 1840s pioneers crossing the plains in wagons and handcarts while others would have amazing black and white photos to display while a good many would tell fantastic tales of heroism, adventure, despair and beauty.

One of the temples of the book, not only in Utah but in all of the nation, is changing. It is a printed-word mecca called Sam Weller's Zion Bookstore and it is moving. It is an independent bookstore which are few and far between these days. It is 80 years old and has a gigantic collection of used books and because of its publishing contacts and used book networks, if you want a book they can probably get it for you.

Should you care to, you can read the 80-year history of the place right here. It seems unlikely the the store will ever be the same and even more unlikely that anything like it will ever develop again. I have spent a few great days in the store, browsing shelves and picking up books old and new, large and small that I want to take home with me. I am like a cat lady with printed volumes.

The building they are leaving is stuffed with books on three levels with small side rooms and winding isles. It has a post decorated with disco-ball mirrors. It has copies of National Geographic that go back about as far as National Geographic does. It has a fun collection of comics and photo books and archeology books, occult books and Mormon books, law books and biographies and so on and so forth.

If you haven't walked around in the basement, or the balcony browsing for fun, then you better hurry.

My poor wife tolerates the fact that not only have I filled all the shelves I have with books, but I have filled a good chunk of our storage room with boxes of other books. Why own books that are put away in boxes? I don't know, but I sure like them. So today when I took a stroll around Weller's I found many a lonely tomb that needed a good home, but I left them where they sat, ignoring the 25 percent discount.

I need a home as well.

We love brackets

Not everybody follows the NCAA basketball tournament that just completed the first of its three weekends. Many call it the greatest sporting event in the nation if not the entire world, although there would be a lot of debate about that.

I do know that there is a gigantic increase of interest for college basketball once "Selection Sunday" takes place and colleges around the country find themselves as part of the field of 64 (okay 65) teams trying to win a national championship. No more than 16 teams have any chance of winning the tournament but interest and optimism are high around the country.

Part of the reason, maybe a lot of the reason, is because of the bracket format the tournament takes. People love to fill out these brackets and boldly make predictions for not only who will win but which teams will beat other teams and upset the carefully seeded field. It fuels a staggering amount of interest for a sport, college basketball, that plays from October to February without making many noticing.

But throw a bracket into the mix and suddenly everybody can play along at home or at the office, including the one where I work. Brackets rule and I think its the brackets that rule, not college basketball. People love lists and they love brackets.

President Obama filled out a bracket and it became national news and was actually talked about in coaches' press conferences and on talk shows.


This time of year brackets proliferate websites and news organization because they get clicks and they generate interest. They wouldn't do them otherwise. It seems anybody can make a bracket from even the most mundane topic and it will suddenly be interesting to the human brain.

Don't believe me? I will throw out some bracket subjects and I bet by reading them you will wish they were real and that you could go and fill out the bracket. Watch.

* Best movies of all time

* Best rock albums in the last 10 years

* Best looking Pope (with picturs)

* Most important news stories in this century.

Did you get the urge to look and click? I did. I made a couple of little visual brackets to further illustrate the point. Since you are going to feel the urge to fill them out, go ahead.





And one for the ladies . . .



If you read all the way down here, I have a fun little bracket reward for you. click me. Note: The Scorpions are not an option nor are most of the bands I love like Dream Theater and Rush. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Why YouTube is great

Since 1984 when I was 13 and I discovered popular music on the radio, thanks to one Brian Gardner, I have had an ear for a band called "The Scorpions". They remain my "favorite" band, although that doesn't mean I claim they are the best band or the most talented or most important or any of the things people often think you mean when you say "favorite". I just mean that I have an emotional response to the band and I still listen and enjoy.

After hearing them on the radio, I obtained a vinyl copy of "Blackout," and crossed out the lyrics to the naughty songs and was in music heaven. Only a few weeks later I was sitting in the hall of my parent's house looking at the album listening to a rock radio station. I remember thinking very distinctly that it had been two years since they produced an album and that they were due.

Literally, no sooner did I think that than the DJ said on the air, "Here is a new one from the 'Scorpions'," and he played "Rock You Like A Hurricane," for my first listen. I am mostly sick to death of hearing that particular song now, but it gave me a jolt that I still recall clearly. My stomach tightened, my pulse raced, I jumped up, sat down, jumped up, turned up the radio and listened. What a moment!

The band is still popular in some spots of the world but these days in the U.S. they are mostly remembered for that one song and a whistler about the Berlin Wall falling. My appreciation for the band spans a much bigger time frame and I found that in the band's "pre-hit" days the produced some very interesting music with thoughtful if unremarkable lyrics that were pretty good for guys not versed in English. They were a German band that knew English was the language of "rock 'n' roll" and they liked the early greats in rock including Elvis.

I have interviewed the band on the phone, photographed the band (somewhere in boxes of negatives) and reviewed the band live and have appreciated them for many years but these days, they aren't popular like they once were and they get lumped in with a lot of what I consider weak 80s "heavy metal" bands. (Which isn't to say I don't like some of those bands, just definitely not all of them.) Meanwhile the atrocious band Poison and others like them ride a surge of dirt-bag sentimentality.

So, YouTube allows me to see Scorpions footage that isn't widely available, and some of it is pure gold. The greatest treasure is a song from the 1972 album, "Lonesome Crow," which sounds very little like the group most people know and has a lot in common with more experimental musicians of the time. Michael Schenker was in the band, at all of 16 years old, and was already an astoundingly good guitarist. He went on to play for "Rainbow," and his own group and make his own legend while his brother Rudolf stays in the band even today.

YouTube is great because I can view this little glimpse of a German rock band in 1972:


Just since we are here, here is another pre-popular YouTube cut, played in this century with the Berlin Philharmonic. Yup, I am a geek but hey, it is my blog after all.



And, a commercial from 1988:


From what I consider a great album that didn't sell well. A song written about the love of playing live:

Thing in a jar

I have a desk at work, I just don't get to sit in it. So this week I made and now brought in a "thing in a jar." It is meant to look like a monster fetus with tentacles instead of legs and its in a dark, murky solution to hide how bad of a sculptor I am.

I will post pictures soon but the "thing in a jar" social experiment has begun. One friend reacted already but he saw me carry it in, so it is hardly fair. Would you notice a jar of something on a public desk where you work?

Maybe I should label it "specimen 353" or something like that.

I can't dance but my face can

Thanks to a new technology and a guy with friends that let him conduct experiments on their faces, everybody can dance. I can't wait until they hook up whole bodies to something like this and then I can feel good about going to a night club.

Read more about it right here.

Enjoy!

Brand new stupid laws

I may end up writing about this for an official publication but it would be nice to have a short version here. I may go on and on about this later. The Salt Lake Tribune has a story here about a "truth in advertising" bill that passed both of Utah's houses last minute.

One irony is that this isn't a "truth in advertising bill" its a bill that targets video games. It also will have the opposite effect of what it is intended to do and behind-the-scenes it is partially sponsored and co-written by a bully and a scoundrel who is a disbarred lawyer on a crusade. His name is Jack Thompson.

The law will impose penalties on businesses that say they will not sell video games to minors and then are caught doing so.

The most obvious problem is that retailers will simply stop saying they don't sell to minors so they don't get burned with false advertising. The easiest and cheapest solution will be for stores not to advertise that they do this.

The next problem is that according to a study, the ratings system was working pretty well and is doing better all the time.

Here is a quote from game news site Joystiq: "We now have three consecutive events to eagerly anticipate -- first, the bill must be approved by Utah governor Jon Huntsman before it's officially adopted. Second, the new policy will go into effect on January 1, 2010. Finally, we wait to hear how the ESA will spend the humongous legal fee reimbursement check that the taxpayers of Utah will indirectly cut when the bill is likely found unconstitutional. Perhaps some sort of tropical outing for their employees? We hear the beaches of Costa Rica are simply breathtaking."

Joystiq pokes fun because a lot of game laws are struck down by courts and the money spent by the Entertainment Software Association gets refunded by states. California had this happen in February.



You can read more details here if you wish.

I hope Huntsman is informed enough to understand this "little" bill.

And parents, parent your kids and don't take them to see "The Watchmen" movie and don't buy them "Resident Evil 5," no matter how much they beg.

Finally, if any of you (I am pretending there are "yous" out there) still think video games are behind shootings like the one in Columbine, kindly let me know. I have plenty to say about that too.

I watched "The Watchmen" (part II)

So I read comics and as fortune would have it, I happened upon the great revival of the form during some formative years for both me and creative forces of the industry. I caught the end and transition from one era of comics (commonly called the bronze age) that transitioned into the modern age of comics.

At the risk of losing my non-existent audience, I read the incredible run of Chris Clairmont on the "X-Men," Frank Miller and Klaus Jansen on "Daredevil" and Alan Moore on the "Swamp Thing" as they were published. Nearly everything printed then was superheroes, largely as a result of the U.S. government and some dudes putting pressure on the comic industry to publish sanitized stories. America killed one of its original art forms and three decades later I was lucky enough to be around for the revival.

Those creative fellows, along with lots of others (Neil Gaiman, Dave Sim) shook up comics and helped it diverge from costumed heroes back into fantasy and horror and crime. During this era of me visiting comic stores I picked up the first issue of "Watchmen," and recognized its quality along with a lot of other really good reading material.

The anti-hero was hot in the market, but Alan Moore's and Dave Gibbons' masterpiece deconstructed the superhero and presented them as very flawed characters. I recognized "Watchmen" was remarkable, although I didn't fully understand what it was doing and the long-term greatness of the work. I knew I liked reading it a lot.

Time Magazine later named it one of the 100 great English language novels published between 1923 and today and it grew very popular and very highly praised. However, it is still a funny book to most and so while a lot of people got on board, it was still on the fringe.


For an explanation of how I came to have a comic book store, please see the entry below.
This weekend, "my" "Watchmen" graphic novel that I have treasured for more than 20 years hit the cinema. I watched it adoringly at midnight and then the following afternoon on the IMAX screen. Its opening credits I declare the best ever. It is a film that is flawed, to the point that for some it will be radioactive. It is savage and sexual and it asks a lot of its viewers. It demands careful attention to dialog and even background references.

For me, it translates the graphic novel (no longer called a comic book since its always collected into a single volume instead of 12 issues and its really difficult for the mainstream to call something praiseworthy a 'comic book') into a film that I never imagined I would see. It is done with great (not perfect) fidelity and obvious affection. One of the actors isn't up to snuff and the decision to take the violence and sexuality into in-your-face levels seems distracting for me. It isn't my prudish self complaining but my analytical side that thinks it was over done.

Still, I embrace the film. I love the film. I will love the director's cut more and I will love the DVD edition still more when a story-within-the-story will be added as an animated part of the story. I rejoice that I have watched "The Watchmen," but "my" comic book, beloved since it was published more than 20 years ago has now moved into full on mainstream popular culture. I feel a wee tear in the corner of my eye and a lump in my throat.

Now everybody watches the Watchmen.

Every boy needs a comic shop or the "Watchmen" preamble

I was originally going to write about "The Watchmen," but this came out.

It is cool and sad and the end of an era when things that are yours (mine in this case) become the world's.

An important part of every geek's life is having "their own" comic book shop. A comic book reader needs a comic book shop and I have had one, literally, since I was in 4th grade.

That is the year I moved away, Monday through Friday, from my home in Cottonwood Heights to the Family Support Center in Sugarhouse. My parents were full-time house parents for a crisis nursery funded by the United Way called The Family Support Center. My parents were attempting to make extra money so they could pay off their mortgage sooner and we went back to the old neighborhood on weekends.

It meant I moved away from my friends at Butler Elementary (worst website ever) and moved into the boundries of Hawthorne Elementary (much better website).



My first and best friend was Josh Platus and among our shared interests were Star Wars and comic books. I have lost touch with Josh because stupidly, as a teen, I didn't value having friends in two places and so when my father had a heart attack and we left the crisis nursery as a full-time family (Mom worked there for years after) I was just glad to be back home. Josh was a cool guy and a good friend and I should have stayed in touch and been a good friend. Sorry Josh!

Josh and I visited the legendary and awesome Cosmic Aeroplane to get our back issue comics. (That link is a pretty informative, worthwhile story). It turns out we were in the middle of an important collection of golden age comics as well. Read about it right here.

I liked Daredevil and he liked Captain America and I love my memories of that store. I loved the smell and the weird postcards and the used books and the creaky wooden floors and the crazy-haired people who worked there. I didn't know it, but I had stumbled upon comic books at the perfect time, and the coolest used book store at the perfect time. I wish I could smell that store one more time.

Then it was on to the Baseball Card shop on Highland Drive and then Nightflight Comics in the now razed Cottonwood Mall. Even while on a two year stint of church service in New York City, my dedicated mum and/or sister picked up my comics each month so that I could read two years worth when I returned home.

These days I shop at Dr. Volts, mostly because when I forget to go in for a month or two, all my requested comics are still there and the owner doesn't complain that I am late. I suppose my relationship with a comic book shop will last as long as there are comic book shops in Utah. I could always go to a mail subscription if that fell through but I prefer to buy them in the flesh. Now, on to "The Watchmen."

Some people are amazingly talented, other people are me

Paintings can be educational, historic, moving, beautiful and many other things. Such things are called "art". I admire paintings, love them occasionally. Scale or size does matter to me in this case as "big" paintings do something extra for me. I suppose it highlights my ingorance of the form. Anyway, I never wanted to be a painter much.

Creating street art however appeals to me. The problem is, it's way too late in life to learn this. I am happy to enjoy it. The following video shows the creation of an amazing work and I guess I love that people who observe it are almost forced to consider it or react to it. I suppose I love street art.

My next evil plan

The internet is cool. If you haven't checked it out, you really should. It has a lot to offer. One thing I love about it is the inevability of finding things or pages accidentally when you are looking for other things. In this way, my "Next Evil Plan" was formulated.

First, a primer.

I work in a nine story building with my company owning all floors but only using 3 - 8. For several years I have worked on the third floor and enjoyed this because it gave me a space of my own where I could express slightly my personality and hang up nerd stuff and adjust my chair exactly how I like it. It featured the fewest number of people on it but provided excellent communication among those who did work there. We enjoyed the privacy. It provided us a feeling of friendship and togetherness. It also came with ample storage, a phone number I could call my own (XXX-PIGS which will now go unanswered) and just a place to feel comfortable.

Recently my department was informed that we would be working on various floors and sharing work stations. There are good and bad things about this but it meant no iTunes, or CNN or ESPN and no chair, phone and "stuff" to call my own.

-sigh-


So, while looking for something on the internet, I found a really cool website that tells you how to make a "Thing In A Jar". With some rubber cement, some sculpy, some paint, a jar and some coke, I can make my own "Thing In A Jar." I then plan to display it on the desk that is shared by at least five workers and sits in the middle of a high-traffic area.

The concept behind "Thing In A Jar," is that it shields the viewer from seeing exactly what they are looking at. This would be a masterpiece of unspoken hilarity (for me) and would let people wonder what is in the jar on not-my-desk.

You can learn to make your own if you simply click right here.

Enjoy.